As I've said before, I love the smell of P.R. scandals in the morning...
This just in from the New York Times:
March 30, 2024
Wal-Mart Begins Quest for Generals in P.R. WarBy MICHAEL BARBARO
Wanted: two people to help defend the nation's largest retailer against critics. Requirements: plenty of experience managing a crisis.
Crisis management is a very specialized kind of PR, but it's what most people think of when they think of public relations. The Tylenol scandal. New Coke. Gary Hart.
Wal-Mart Stores has begun circulating two senior-level job postings — both in public relations — and if the language used to describe the positions is any indication, the giant discount retailer is on the P.R. equivalent of war footing.
Fans of modern journalism can see what's coming. This story is newsworthy if some words (probably written by a drone who''s in big trouble today) are an indication of how the Wal-Mart heart beats, if it can be said to have a heart. (Hey guys, why not borrow that slogan from the right to life crowd: Every conglomerate is a beating heart") Seems like a rationalization to spin some tension and "color" out of a very thin premise: a classified ad on the internet. News editors are increasingly beholden to the "We're Desparately Losing Readers So Let's Jazz Up Our Coverage" Department.
One job includes "opposition research," presumably into Wal-Mart's major critics: Wal-Mart Watch and Wake Up Wal-Mart. The other requires the ability to "mobilize resources" during a "crisis situation."
Woo-hoo! They used the words "opposition research" did they? And "crisis situation" too? Gosh in my 25 years in politics I've not heard words like that used more than once every fifteen or twenty minutes. I guess the syllogism is that "oppo" is a negative term and "crisis" is an overheated analogy so therefore Wal-Mart is at war. Huh?
The two jobs reflect how much life has changed at Wal-Mart, which has come under withering criticism over its wages, health benefits and treatment of workers. The company barely had a public relations department in the early 1990's, but now has a staff of dozens, including a public relations war room full of former political operatives who dispute the assertions of its opponents. T
Quaint Public Relations myth #97b. Back in the old days Sam Walton didn't have much truck for citified public relations. He could run his folks business with his folksy ways and pay his folksy as little as possible, and no one would ever challenge him. Reporters love to speculate how things would be if there were no one to spin them (answer: they'd have to do a lot more work).
The job postings, which were circulated by Crowe-Innes & Associates, an executive search firm, were given to The New York Times by Wal-Mart Watch, a group backed by unions and foundations that is pressing Wal-Mart to enhance its wages and benefits.
Crowe-Innes, join Eryn Witcher and Rock Creek Creative in the HeadlineUpdate PR Hall of Shame.
According to the posting for the first job, director of media relations, the successful applicant will oversee Wal-Mart's "crisis communications program."
Rather than simply handling phone calls from the press, the employee must be able to help "triage" those calls, managing messages "in rapid response mode." Mona Williams, a Wal-Mart spokeswoman, said the company received hundreds of calls a day from reporters.
"Triage" Now there's an incendiary word. Listen, I'm enjoying this as much as the next Wal-Mart protester, but really this is just about a few ill chosen words. Props to Wal-Mart Watch for milking it this far, but really,if I were the boys in Bentonville I'd put out a palliative press release and move on. When in a hole, stop digging.
And, of course, the employee must be on call "24/7" to assist with "emergency response" within the public relations department.
Of course. Just like that kid, speaking of non-news stories, who "lived" at a Wal-Mart during his spring break and despite the best efforts of the NPR reporter to draw any kind of insight from him had none whatsoever to offer. It was just a dumb thing to do, and it made the news.
The job requires 10 years' experience in corporate communications and "proven media relationships."
The second job is senior director of campaign management, an executive who will oversee all corporate communications support staff and the war room.
This person, like the media relations director, must have 10 years experience in communications, but also a track record "addressing high- profile political activities," according to the posting. Candidates must "operate successfully in a campaign mode."
Another constant theme of this space is the culture of consultants and how people like me can be bad for democracy. Here, we surely see the result of a consultant telling the company, let's run this like a political campaign. Exactly like a political campaign. (And as previously noted here, the Wal-Mart party has a lot more money than the anti Wal-Mart party.
One responsibility of the job is to research opponents — a position usually found in presidential political campaigns.
Right, got that. That's why you're writing this story; they used the word "opposition research" and the editors of the WDLRSLJUOC deparment (see above) thought this would be a good, "edgy" story.
Another is overseeing Wal-Mart's relations with bloggers, many of whom frequently write about the company.
Oh, this story got even better. I love it when they slip in a really vital fact at the very end of a news story. As a blogger and PR person myself, I want to know more about that "oversight" relationship. Does that mean they sign the checks? Make up the phony names? Register the Potemkin websites?
The executive search firm, Crowe-Innes & Associates, did not respond to phone and e-mail messages.
Bye bye, Crowe, Bye Bye Associates...hello loneliness, I think you're going to cry...
Wal-Mart doesn't like contractors who embarrass them, know what I mean? Badda bing!
Both of the posted jobs, which would be based at Wal-Mart's headquarters in Bentonville, Ark., offer "competitive base salary, bonus opportunity and stock options" plus an "excellent benefits package," which are not specified.
OK, I'm convinced. Since no one's reading this blog anyway, I'm going to apply for this job, get it, and then report back from the dark side...Here's a new slogan. Wal-Mart. It's better than Baghdad.
Copyright 2006The New York Times Company
